Anger

Did you know that Anger is mentioned over 500 times in the bible? It’s an emotion that God expresses. The bible does warn us not to sin in our anger or allow it to fester, but it’s an emotion that we can express and it is not a sin to do so.

But how do you deal with your anger? Are you more expressive? Or do you tend to bottle it up like me and express it in other ways?

And then, how do you deal with triggers of that anger? How do you handle seeing a person or being in the place where you’ve experienced a hurt?

If I say that I’ve figured it out then I would be dishonest.

But, God has been doing something in, to and for me in the past year plus. I cannot even explain it entirely, but slowing down so much has been such an interesting thing for me. I now understand that when I’m upset or unhappy, doing manual chores is usually the easiest distraction I can find and somehow it helps me forget or move past the negative feeling. Talk about coping mechanism that leaves your home or environment spotless 🤣😅

Within the last 2 years working with a counselor, I learned anger is a secondary emotion. That means it’s usually an outward expression of some other emotion. As an example, maybe you are feeling hurt or disappointed and then an offensive action triggers you to feel angry. If you aren’t paying attention you would neglect the reason behind the anger, which in this case is the disappoint in the offenders actions. I guess as we become more emotionally mature, we become better able to qualify and quantify our emotions and have a more healthier handling and expression of it.

I don’t know about you, but I am that person whose anger isn’t explosive. Anger for me generally comes forth as hot tears. For someone who strongly believes in the Lord being her strength. Just imagine how disconcerting this expression leaves me feeling. The achiness in my heart reminds me that I’ve not completely healed from the hurt.

But God.

This expression is the biggest reality for me right now.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”

Luke 6: 27-28

Praying for the source or cause of your pain is still a lesson I’m learning actively in the past year. Not so easy when you are angry lol😅🤣😊 .

But God❤️ .

Where would I be without my Creator and the lover of my soul? How could I cope with the triggers when they do present themselves? When I haven’t felt led in an alternative direction, how do I continually place myself in the same space?

And yet, He has been working me through it all. Carrying me like a baby and then placing me down to walk in step with Him. Helping me sift through the emotions I haven’t clarified. Helping me express myself in prayer…in worship… in words… and in tears. I am so grateful for HIS Presence.

All I focus on is keeping my eyes elevated towards Him. To trust His consistency in the midst of life’s inconsistency. To understand His faithfulness is one that cannot be replicated. To allow myself to release the achiness in my heart. To understand that even this has its purpose. To let Him weave a beautiful story out of this period like only He can do.

When I say I love Jesus. Truly, there’s no replacement. Thank You Lord for everything You are, for everything You are doing, for everything You have done. As much as I am dealing with these unwanted emotions, I’ve never been in a better place in my life and that’s what’s so interesting to me. More on this someday maybe. Growth will happen if you let it. I’m thankful that the light of God has always peaked through in my life, no matter the season.

I recently celebrated my birthday. Praise God! 🙌

I love birthdays because each one allows me to take stock of my life. I realize that I am living in answered prayers and I can celebrate how much farther I’ve come from where I used to be. My heavenly Father has been consistently showing up, releasing me and leading me. He has been holding me close and teaching me how to be.

My prayer is that this post can be a source of encouragement for someone who has struggled to deal with any aspect of this. Just know it does get better. I’ve been on this course for over a year. I have realized that the more you trust God with your feelings, it will get lighter, doesn’t mean it’s easy or that you don’t have to deal with it or even walk through it. But He makes what feels impossible, POSSIBLE. Remember psalm 23.

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Psalm 23:4

Even in the place where it feels like no one understands or maybe even cares, He does. You can trust You are not alone. One day I prayed and asked for Him to send me practical comfort ‘cos yes I know He is there, but a warm hug would surely be nice. And there He goes sending me a warm embrace. ❤️ There He goes doing all the things that only He does well. He has always shown up for me in all the ways. CONSISTENTLY, sending me reminders of His presence and care. He cares. He will send us reminders if we trust Him to do so. Ask and trust that He will.

“…and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. Strangers will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. And you will be called priests of the LORD, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. “For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and wrongdoing. In my faithfulness I will reward my people and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed.”…” Amen!

Isaiah 61:3-9

I declare Isaiah 61:3-9 as my portion. Thank YOU Mighty God for all You are. I love you. Thank You for all You are doing. For everything You’ve brought me through. For the air in my lungs, for a healthy body to move about with, for each new day because Your mercies are new in it. Thank You for Your guidance and corrections. Thank You for Your refining hand. Thank You for Your healing embrace. Thank You for Your presence in my life and family. Thank You Father for healing and restoration. Thank You for the deliverance of my descendants. Thank You for crowning me and for the inheritance that is my portion in You. Thank You for the amazing work of Your Holy Spirit in the time I’ve existed, prior to that and even through and after my time.

Thank you for the amazing work You will do in this week, not only in my life, but in the lives of Your people, especially your daughters coming together this week. Thank You for Your palpable presence filling up the temple even before we get there and for the amazing and life giving experiences we will each have with You. Thank You God for removing all hinderances and breaking down barriers physical, emotional and spiritual that would hinder us from living the life You are calling us to. Thank You for walking us through to live the abundant and full life You have chosen, not the life we think we ought to live. Help us to trust Your plans and purpose. Help us to not forget that You will always work it all out for our good and for Your glory. Thank You for Your Word. Teach us to lean into You more each day. Help us to surrender it all to You and to always remember that You care and will show up for us like only You can. We are Yours. You are our God. Make us more like You Lord and show us how to see with more clarity, to hear, to perceive and to understand. Guide us to be obedient to Your leading. Deliver us from evil in all its forms and grant us Your perfect peace. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

Love,

Uju.