Through the Valley

Walking with God After Unexpected Grief and Loss

Where to Start?

Life has a way of doing its thing, and then sorrow comes knocking.

Grief can stop you in your tracks and reshape life as you know it.

On July 15, 2025, I came home from work and received the devastating news that my only brother had passed away. He was just 37 years old. I will be 39 in a couple of months. In that moment, I knew my family had been forever changed. Our lives will never be the same again.

Bye, Chu 🤍

This is not a post I ever imagined writing. Yet here I am, learning to walk with God through heartbreak and disappointment, clinging to His presence and trusting His promises as I walk through this valley.

Held in God’s Hands

Thank You, Mighty Father, for carrying me through every season of my life. Thank You for being for us and with us. Thank You for covering our lives. Thank You that no matter what, You always have the final say, even when we cannot fully comprehend.

Only a few closest to me even knew I had a brother. My family has nothing to be ashamed of, but we held him close while we prayed, fasted, and believed for a redeeming story we hoped to one day share. We dreamed of a family reunion unlike any other. Sadly, that dream will never be, and that realization broke my heart.

It is easy to say “it is well” when you are not the one standing in the storm. I have deep faith. I know God knows best. And yet, I was devastated.

Remembering My Brother

Still, I choose to be grateful. Grateful for our childhood years. For the chance to have grown up together. Even for the fights, from the silly ones to the serious ones. I forgive myself for battles I could not fight, because they were never mine to fight.

I’m sorry for the deceptions and disappointments life dealt you, Chu. I forgive you for the things you couldn’t overcome in your own strength. I love you. We love you. I thank God that you are finally at peace and at rest with Him.

The First Days of Grief

Those first two weeks were indescribably hard. I was given bereavement days, but they felt like a blur. Each morning I silently prayed it had all been a mistake, that somehow, on the third day, we’d hear it wasn’t really our Chuchu.

I had to hold myself together for my kids, for those trying to comfort me, even though inside, all I wanted was to let myself shatter.

Thank You, Lord, for carrying me. For sending reinforcements before it was too late.

The Weight of Loss

Loss is heavy enough. Then come the questions: What happened? How did he die? Was he sick? Why so soon?

But for someone still grieving, those questions can feel so casual, even indifferent. If you’ve ever wondered how to comfort someone, here’s what I’ve learned: sometimes silence is the greatest gift. Your presence, your listening ear, your simple “I’m here” can mean more than a hundred questions. Let the grieving one share when they are ready.

Wrestling with God

I hated feeling like I had joined a new class of society, those who have lost. It reminded me that no one is immune to sorrow, and that life is fragile.

Lord, I know You answer prayers. But I wanted You to answer this one differently. To heal, restore, and redeem our family. That story wasn’t to be. I struggled to accept it. I carried a burden that wasn’t mine to bear.

And still, I serve a Mighty God. A Loving Father. An All-Knowing King. He sees the bigger picture. And so, through tears, I can still say: Thank You, Lord, for leading and comforting us… even here.

Lessons from the Valley

Grief is strange. You don’t really understand it until you live through it. It’s like that saying, you don’t know how the shoe pinches until you wear it yourself.

I pray grief is something we pass through, not something that hardens us into stone. May God deliver us from sorrow that could keep us stuck.

I’ve learned:

• We must speak less and listen more.
• We must think of others, not just ourselves.
• We must strive for excellence, not perfection.

Even Jesus modeled this balance. He withdrew to refresh His soul, to pray and rest, so He could show up fully reflecting the Father.

And I’ve also realized joy is not the only acceptable emotion before God. Worship and sorrow can coexist. David shows us this again and again in the Psalms:
“Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” (Psalm 100:4)
“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.” (Psalm 150:6)

You can still praise while broken. You can still bring thanksgiving through tears. God doesn’t ask us to hide our mourning…He asks us to bring it to Him.

A Time for Everything

I noticed how differently people respond to sorrow. Some avoid it. Some don’t know what to say. Some detach for self-preservation. But God reminds us:

“There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1–4)

And maybe this is a touch of dark humor, but instead of questioning my life so far, I pause and thank God for the full range of experiences He has allowed me: plenty and little, loss and joy, acceptance and rejection, success and failure. Through it all, He has walked with me. He has not let me go🤍. 

Moving Forward

I don’t know exactly what moving forward will look like. But I have chosen life. I will keep seeking God daily. I will trust Him to guide me, to show me how to walk with hope, grace, love, and gratitude.

Even in uncertainty, I am grateful. Grateful for His faithfulness. For His presence. For His forgiveness. For His love.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4)

I love You, Lord. I trust You know best. I believe that what the enemy means for harm, You will always turn for good and reveal Your glory. Time is in Your hands. My life is in Your hands. My family are in Your Hands. Help me to stop fighting and to surrender fully. Lead me, Lord. Make my paths straight.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

“Rejoice always and delight in your faith; be unceasing and persistent in prayer; in every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 AMP)

Thank you to everyone who reached out with encouragement, condolences, support, and memory reminders. God bless you all.

Rest in peace, Chukwudubem, in the arms of our Heavenly Father. You are loved. You are missed. You are finally at peace. Until we meet again.

With love,
Uju