I see myself as God’s warrior princess.
I’m not sorry. Yes, you read it right. And no you cannot change my mind.
But then it hit me that I actually have to be gentle.
How do those two things even relate to each other?
I mean how can a warrior be gentle too?
Aren’t we supposed to be conquering and reclaiming our territories and defending the innocent and raising future warriors? Where is the gentleness in any of that?
It truly takes crisis situations to squeeze out the deeper contents of our souls.
That’s exactly how I felt when it hit me that I needed gentleness and I wasn’t there yet. Not close. Yep… I felt flabbergasted.
I realized that I was either going to allow lack of sleep and the frustration I was feeling of how long this was taking literally turn me into a walking “monster” or I was going to accept the forgiveness and grace I already had in Christ and start to put His Spirit in me to use.
Yep! We all have access to the Spirit of God! The Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead! I literally jump and do a spiritual burpee every time I say or write this sentence! All we have to do is talk to/pray to God and ask Him for help.
He gives gentleness too.
Imagine all the other unopened gifts we have in our life closets! 🤯 #Mindblown
You can imagine my next step…. I hope you guessed right… no I didn’t give up. Oh did I not strongly consider that seemingly more peaceful option. I actually did give it a go, but knew I had to stay consistent and faithful on the path I had chosen.
I am grateful that as I type this at 5:13am this Sunday morning after my 2nd trip to her bedroom, I am feeling Christ’s peace. I realized my prayer had already been answered and this verse came to mind:
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4: 6-7 (NLT)
Since the beginning of my own quarantine like I mentioned in my most recent post, I have been on the sleep training train with my 3year old. It had been over 25 days and after one day of great success it seemed that we were back to square one. Actually it was almost as though anytime I celebrated the progress we made, the next day I would experience the worst night session and have to go back and forth more times to get her back into bed. 🤔 🧐
I am working from home and expected to put in 40work hours weekly. Granted I have been so blessed with a job where I get to organize what my day looks like, mostly, but there are only 24 hours in a day. I still have to take work zoom calls and participate in some. So when I say I was starting to feel frustrated I hope you can appreciate that.
I mean I had been praying that she would understand what the purpose of the sleep training was. I pray even now for her to continue to be in Christ’s peace and know that mommy and daddy aren’t going to leave her behind. That she feels comforted by His Holy Spirit and is confident that we will be there when she wakes up in the morning. That she always has peaceful nights in her bedroom, even after we move. In Jesus’s Mighty Name, Amen.
And let me tell you, she understands what we are trying to accomplish. Yep, she surely does!
For instance, last night she was putting her dolls to bed in her new doll house – she turned 4 this week (aww! Praise God! Could be another story in itself, but I digress)! Last night I said “wow you put your baby in her own room, it would be nice if you [insert name] could stay in your own room too.” And she said, “well mommy you have to train me first” …Um excuse me 😂😂😂😭
Wow! 😯 😂
All her cuteness is funny and all, but in all seriousness I have actually learned a lot through this process.
I found that the “training” in sleep training wasn’t only for my daughter, but for me too.
I really have learned in this quarantine life to lean into God more than I ever have.
I have been learning to not just pray, but believe even bigger and expect Him to actually show up.
I have learned to dig deeper in being patient.
I have learned to seek gentleness. What’s funny is that I had made it a mission to pray specifically for all the Holy Spirit fruits months ago. For whatever reason I would remember all except one. Guess which it was? Gentleness … you may have guessed right. 😊
Have I mastered it all?
Nope.
Of course not.
But you bet that I feel so much joy seeing how far I have come, not just in this training exercise, but in my life as a whole.
Seriously! Thank You Lord God! I love You!!!
That joy says that no matter how long it takes her to learn, I will be growing in patience and gentleness and faithfulness and more as I wait. It says, I will recognize when I start feeling exhausted and not beat myself up if I don’t get up to take her back on any specific night. My kid is a tough cookie 😂, yay May birthday. I know she loves being with us, but I am also glad we have already sown the seed that let’s her know we also want her to be independent and sleep in her own room more.
In closing, I have decided to make prayer and thanksgiving a discipline in my world. I intentionally insert it anywhere I can. The Word of God says
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 (ESV)
I intend to train daily till I am doing this consistently. And so can you.
I pray that this has lifted your spirit, given you a chuckle or two, and shown you the possibilities of faith in God and in prayer if we would seek Him. He answers all things – not as we expect them, not in the order we want and not on our own schedule, but according to His Will.
I pray for even more for wisdom and understanding. For insight to see His truth in every and any situation. May we be continually filled to overflow in all His Holy Spirit fruits – joy, peace, patience, love, kindness, goodness, self control, faithfulness, and gentleness. In the Mighty Name of Jesus, Amen ♥️
With love,
Uju
(P.S. Don’t be surprised when you receive a challenge to enable you put into practice what you pray for. It’s like training for a gauntlet 😂😭! But always remember His grace is more than sufficient for us to overcome! The victory is already ours in Christ. Take grace! Pray for more! Even if we stumble or fail, He is always right there holding us. So keep on pressing in! And I assure you, there will be a breakthrough! I am confident of this! Don’t relent! Let’s get our maturity on!)
#Momlife: sleep training Day 40 🤗
Current song: 🎧 Confident by Steffany Gretzinger
Dear Uju 